Saint Vinny and the Venerable Beats

Before the Beach Boys, before the Beatles, and even before the invention of modern English, there was the most remarkable ecclesiastical boy band since Pope Innocent and the Crooning Cardinals - Saint Vinny and the Venerable Beats.

The classic logo for Vinny's monastic Band of Brothers.

Growing up in the small town of Tyneside, Vinny went on to a rather droll career in a local monastery, where he translated Vergil, read his psalms, and secretly composed boy-band songs. Eventually tiring of his vow of silence, he broke onto the monastic musical scene at a late stage in life, but he enjoyed immediate success.

He was initially a solus act, with such hits as "Abbey Woad", "We Will Block (Manuscript) You", and "A Little Less Conversation a Little More Illumination". He soon formed his own band however, the Venerable Beats, and for a long time they were all the rage with the nuns.

Continuing to blossom into an interdenominational musical phenomenon, the band continued to enjoy success with the release of such monastic compilations as Celibate! and Bad Habits. They even introduced new genres of music, such as Latin pop and Soul.

Westminster Abbey was a popular venue for the Beats.

For his contributions to music and the church, in particular his Headbangia Ecclesiastica Dulcimeri Anglorum (roughly translated as "Ecclesiastical Headbanging with English Guitars"), he was made a Saint by Pope Gregory III for "outstanding contributions to the cultural and ethical precepts upon which the church was founded and for some bloody good Gregorian dulcimer riffs!"